You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2009.
1 month, 3 weeks, and 4 days.
I can’t help but start to count down… and realize the emotional struggle I have inside.
The emotions I feel about it are .. excitement, anxiety, and even some fear.
I fear the thought of losing all I have gained in the past 10+ years.
I am excited about His plan for me, yet I am sad as I prepare to let go of some very important things in my life.
Who knew finding some suitable listening ears would be so difficult?
As I grow and mature, I realize that there are some things you can’t just go around telling everybody. So not any ears would do.
I need a pair of listening ears that will simply listen. I may want to hear their advice but only if they can keep an objective perspective. So not any ears would do.
I usually can go to my parents about anything. I feel most comfortable telling them how I feel because I know that no matter what I say, they still love me. But what if they are struggling with the same issues I am struggling with? I can’t find their listening ears because they are already too invested in the situation. So not any ears would do.
I used to think I have a few close friends with whom I can share anything. But then again, all we talk about is shopping and relationships. It will be hard to express what is on my shoulders if they can’t relate. So not any ears would do.
Thank God I have a listener who is there for me even when I don’t think of Him. I know that the process of finding some listening ears has made me realize just how fortunate I am to have a personal Saviour who listens. It’s true that I feel lonely when I can’t seem to find a friend whom I can talk to in person. But if it means taking the risk of having your secrets passed on through gossip, I might as well keep my secrets to the one who loves me most.
I used to keep all my worries and struggles inside of me. But today, I’m thankful for blogs, journals, and a Father who listens to prayers.
We all ask ourselves: “Who am I?”
Do we ever find the answer?
God says, you are my child.
Is that sufficient? Do we continue to find ourselves asking that same question even though we know that our identity is found in Jesus Christ?
We are broken people and I know that there are definitely situations where I find myself forgetting that this identity in Him is more important than any other identities I try to put together myself.
So the question is how do I constantly keep reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how others see me, that my self-worth is not based on what they think? How should I stop listening to the lies around me and only hear the truth from Him?
I know I need to preach the Gospel to myself over and over again.
He made us relational beings meant to live in community and fellowship with others. Yet it is so difficult sometimes to be part of a team, to work with others, to be judged and criticized. I’m sure He took this into consideration and knew that this process of encountering conflict is meant to only make us stronger. So then, how do we allow ourselves to be strengthened in the process without getting caught up with the negative thoughts and feelings?
